I think my album Family Plot has some magic in it. And I think it’s going to really connect with a lot of people. I sure hope so, anyway. I’ve put so much energy and effort and ability into it. I would feel really bad if it didn’t find its audience.
I want rock music fans and people with similar backgrounds of trauma to discover – and fall in love with – the album.
But if I’m being honest, Family Plot will only be successful if certain people also hate it.
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A Target Audience of Hate
I want my family to hate it, most of all. The whole thing is about them and it’s not very flattering. It tells the truth. It reveals the secrets. It repeats the awful things supposedly loving family members have said to me.
Plus it’s full of curse words and was influenced by some of the most disreputable artists in the history of rock music. It’s full of anger and addresses uncomfortable emotions. It does not reflect kindly upon my family or my family’s values. It celebrates all the notions that make the members of the Kollock family the most uncomfortable. It is not nice music for the nice people.
Family Plot paints a portrait of my family that rightly casts them as shitty villains. For all the world to see.
So yeah. I made Family Plot for them to hate it. I want them to hate it and feel embarrassed by it. Shamed, even. So that’s what I hope happens.
What If I Never Know?
Of course, I may never know what they think of the record. In fact, I probably will never learn their thoughts, feelings or opinions about my music. They might just choose to ignore it and never listen.
But that seems unlikely. I see them poking around my website and social media profiles from time to time to this day, three-plus years on from the commencement of estrangement. I see them opening my emails. I’ve heard about how they’ve schemed to get their stories straight about me. I know I’m on their minds. So they’ll hear the record. They won’t be able to help themselves.
But let’s say I never, ever find out what they think.
- I’ll be satisfied if the abusers and enablers and reactionaries hate it
- I’ll be satisfied if the anti-woke, anti-vax and anti-choice people hate it
- I’ll be satisfied if people obsessed with “cancel culture” hate it
- I’ll be satisfied if racist, rural redneck simpletons hate it
- I’ll be satisfied if narcissistic, emotionally immature parents hate it
Who Is Family Plot For?
This music is not for everyone. It’s for us. It’s for the ones, like me, who were abused, neglected, marginalized, made fun of and othered as kids. The ones who received only conditional love from their parents and other family members. The ones who internalized the meanness and jealousy their parents spewed at them when they were way too young to have to cope with that shit. The ones who were called weirdos by adults in the community and whose caregivers never defended them against such name calling and other cruelties committed by creeps who absolutely should have behaved better.
Family Plot is for those who need a transcendent, emotional soundtrack to their healing journeys, requiring extra strength and determination, having left their families of origin behind. It is a sword, shield and engine of generative spontaneous combustion. it is meant to protect. It is meant to defend. It is meant to provide fuel.
I love my record. I know you probably will, too, if you’re reading this. And goddammit, I sure hope lots and lots of other people end up loving it, too. I’m putting my music career on the line here!
But truly and honestly, I really hope my family hates the record. If they do, I’ll know I did it exactly right. And I have a pretty good feeling about things.